Saturday, July 7, 2012

dilemma

I have battled with my weight for the last few years. I cannot make it go down. I have tried to go on diets that I normally do not finish because I do not have the discipline nor the will to see it through. That is why my weight just keeps on increasing. This was not a problem to me prior to giving birth. I was able to shed pounds without even trying even with the amount of food I consume. And believe me, I consume a lot of food. Giving birth and getting older have taken its toll on my poor body. I cannot make up my mind whether to embrace the new me or to try to get back the old me who did not even get to a hundred pounds in my heaviest. I told the husband several times that perhaps it is time for me to condition my mind to wear plus size dresses anymore but in reality I am afraid it will happen. I am a mess. Then our friends (a couple) visited us the other day and they both looked at me and said I have lost weight. They assured me they were not kidding either. They said my face look slimmer and my body does too. I do not know whether to believe them or not. I know that the weighing scale is telling me that my weight has not changed in the last few months so I don't know what is happening. I wish they were telling the truth though. I would love to lose weight. I still have to figure out what I really want. Should I embrace a heavier me or should I try to lose weight again? Perhaps this time stick to it until I see some result? I do not know what to do. If only it is easy to lose weight then I (and a lot more women) wouldn't have to be worried about it.

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