Tuesday, February 19, 2008

whatever will be, will be

When I was in high school I had a lot of dreams and plans. I am going to be a doctor of medicine, I thought. Then I realized medicine costs a lot of money. My parents didn't have the resources for that kind of expenses. Then I thought why not Computer Engineering? Afterall I heard computer engineers were in demand at the time. Then I again I didn't like the course. I was undecided. I had the chance to go to college and I didn't know what to get. Papsy wanted me to be a teacher. No way! I told him I don't want to get stuck in a classroom with kids. Either I will die of heart attack or I will kill some parents' kids. He said he didn't know what to do with me anymore. His words were, is this going to be a sign that when you work you will be hopping from one employer to the other because you don't want to get stuck? I felt bad but that didn't stop me from rejecting his suggestion. Then came the UPCAT, UP College Admission Test. I was still undecided then. But my parents wanted me to try so I will know what it is like to take the entrance exam to a big university. I did and totally forgot about it. The main reason I took the exam was for the trip :) A few months later the school got a letter from UP along with a letter for me. I passed! I felt wonderful. When we took the exam they told us that it was going to be a right minus wrong kind of test. I didn't care. I had my snacks, I was able to go on a trip with classmates and I had fun. I knew I wouldn't pass. I was wrong. I did pass. And I felt proud of myself considering that I qualified for my first choice which was Chemical Engineering, a course that belong to a quota program. When I got home papsy was in and I handed him the envelope and told him, Congratulate me!. And then headed to grandma's place for lunch. That letter changed everything, I thought. By then we started thinking about me going to Manila for college. But at the last minute papsy changed his mind. He had reasons and I was disappointed.
He said I should just study education and be a teacher like him. I said no. It was bad for days because I was sulking and papsy felt like he disappointed me, which he did at the time. So when I said I am going to Tacloban for college he consented. The day I went to take the entrance exam I still didn't know what course I should enroll in. Everybody has been bugging me to take up Civil Engineering and I thought why not? But when we got to the school the line for CE was very long and the room next to it was almost empty so that was where I fell in line. When I looked hard it was chemical engineering and maybe it was meant to be. I enrolled on the course and spent five happy-sad years in school. Before reality sank in.
I was hoping to be the best on my chosen degree. Pass the exam, find a good job and help my parents. I didn't pass the licensure exam. I did work for a few months after a series of rejections and disappointments that a province graduate experiences in Manila. I was able to help my parents by helping my brother. I was a little disappointed and the future looked bleak to me then. Am I going to be spending my life like this? Working for whatever little amount the company pays me? What will the future be like? How can I help my parents? What about my kids when I start my own family? There were a lot of questions going on in my mind. I started going to church on a regular basis. On my way home I would stop by the adoration chapel to spend a little time with HIM. It made me feel lighter after spending time in church. Little did I know that He had other good plans for me. Who would have known I'll end up where I am at right now? With a good looking husband and an adorable son? I didn't then. It was far from my mind. In fact I thought I was going to be a spinster. But here I am now, with a good life, thanks to the One above who never fails to help us all along. He decides for our fate. All we have to do is go along and He will direct us to the right path.

1 comment:

Carlota said...

what a story ... in the end the unexpected make your life live happily ever after. wink*

Welcome sa bisdakplanet hope to see you there.